Leadership Is Not Dominance

There’s a hard conversation the horse world avoids:

Horses are suffering under the label of “training,” and the lines between leadership, dominance, and abuse have become dangerously blurred.

Too many methods rely on fear.

Too many shortcuts get passed off as “experience.”

Too many horses shut down, not because they’re learning… but because they’ve given up trying to communicate.

And here’s where the misunderstanding really starts:

• Yes - boundaries matter.
• Yes - some horses will test you.
• Yes - firmness has a place.
• Yes - leadership is essential.

Horses are herd animals. They depend on clarity, intention, timing, and structure.

But leadership and domination are not the same thing - not even close.

Dominance isn’t real leadership. It’s the illusion of control created through fear, hunger, exhaustion, or intimidation - and it collapses the moment the horse no longer feels threatened. That’s often exactly when you see horses become “aggressive,” defensive", or start “lashing out.”

Fear-based control doesn’t create understanding. It creates pressure that eventually has to go somewhere.

When “Training” Crosses the Line

Now let’s address something the industry often turns a blind eye to - the practices some people defend as “just how it’s done,” even though they break horses down instead of building them up:

• Forcing a horse to the ground by tying up a leg to “prove a point.”
• Using harsh shortcuts instead of putting in the time to teach understanding.
• Withholding food or water to create a more compliant horse - or to “fix their mindset” by shutting their voice down instead of understanding it.
• Escalating fear, pressure, or pain and calling it “teaching respect.”
• Punishing confusion and labeling the horse “defiant.”

None of this reflects true horsemanship - not in practice, not in ethics, not in intention.

They’re symptoms of ego, impatience, or misunderstanding - wrapped in tradition and justified by outdated beliefs.

But here’s the nuance people forget - the truth that gets lost when everything becomes black and white:

You can be firm without being unfair.

You can be clear without being cruel.

You can “be the boss” in dangerous moments without living in domination.

You can correct without crushing.

Pressure has a place - but it has a purpose, not a personality.

The real difference isn’t the tools - it’s whether the trainer knows when, why, and for whom to use them.

Transparency in Our Own Program

Here’s where we stand, with full transparency:

In five years, we have intentionally laid one horse down - one - for behavioral reasons.
Not to intimidate.
Not to overwhelm.
Not as a shortcut.

But only after:

• Full health checks
• Systematic training
• Multiple approaches
• Consistent handling
• Professional input
• And the owner’s full understanding

In that specific case, it was the safest, most humane next step for that specific horse in that specific moment. And it helped him.

But it is never - and will never be - a blanket method.

And to be crystal clear: laying a horse down for behavioral intervention is not the same as a horse laying down with you through partnership.

Our personal horses - Rocky, Tornado, Onyx — lay down because:

• They trust us.
• They are relaxed.
• They understand the cue.
• They feel safe.

They choose a moment of softness, not surrender.

Two entirely different purposes. Two entirely different energies.
Two entirely different worlds.

Dominance creates compliance - but only for as long as fear stays bigger than confidence.

And that mindset doesn’t create partnerships - it creates the illusion of obedience.

A horse who feels safe will always try harder, offer more, and stay softer than a horse who feels scared.

Fear can make a horse quiet… but only trust makes a horse willing.

Because the horse–human relationship is not mechanical - it is emotional, instinctive, sensitive, deeply intelligent, and built on a language older than any method we teach.

Domination breaks what partnership builds.
And partnership? Partnership creates something bigger than control.

– Southside Performance Horses

Photography By: Lucy Broadwater